No Thai Tonight
by McGonagall's Bola
Summary: Set after 5.16 The Sum in the Parts of the Whole. Brennan's thoughts after her conversations with Booth first with Sweets, then without. BB -REWRITTEN!


Bones' head instinctively lowered upon his shoulder. It naturally felt more comfortable that way. She sighed, entangling arms with his as gambler and scientist lethargically continued walking. Neither of them really thought about where it would lead them, while simply following one other, and trusting upon him, in case of Bones, or her, in case of Booth, to apprehend. Bones, and Booth continued walking, each absorbed in their own thoughts… pondering over exactly the same things. None of them truly paid attention to whatever passed by along their way.

Their favorite Thai bistro in town soon came into view. All seemed very lively, and enjoyable inside, both perceived through the windows. However, nothing within either of them felt like that… at all; pure melancholy brought about by their final words of conversation, and deep sadness had settled within their cores, lingering within their minds, and making them rethink over and over again if it had been right to do this, and actually say that. With Bones overall remained regret at that decision that would have consequences for both… but it would be better for him… for both, she kept on telling herself… hoping that one time she would actually believe it.

"Bones?"

She didn't react immediately. Solely when her name almost inaudibly released his lips again, did she look up at him, emitting a 'Mmm' as a sign that she had heard him breathing her name.

"Thai?"

"Oh… right," she whispered, briefly looking up at the sign above the threshold, and the bistro's very particular features. Even though both had sat there together numerous times, it hadn't really gotten through to her that their favorite Thai bistro located itself right before their noses.

"Maybe," she sighed. "And you, then?"

"Actually, I'm not that hungry anymore," he admitted.

Bones swallowed. "Actually… neither am I."

Booth nodded more to himself than to her, and sighed, letting go of her arm, and slipping his hands in his pockets. Both of them remained silent for a little while, until Booth's voice broke their case of muteness. "Do you wanna go home?"

"Maybe… No idea," she confessed. "My car's still at the Jeffersonian." And that would be quite some distance... "Well, my car's only at the FBI, so maybe we better go back there, and then I'll… halt at the Jeffersonian so you could take your car and…"

"I think I'll go on foot. You don't have to… stray off your route like that for me."

"Bones," Booth sounded. "That's really no big deal. My fuel's being paid by the FBI itself, so don't worry about that, alright?" Bones chuckled, even if only very briefly. "Partner's gesture, okay?"

Bones nodded, any sign of amusement that had been visible a few bits earlier almost immediately disappearing again.

"I wouldn't mind delivering you at home either, and come get you tomorrow morning. Then we don't have to detour at all, if that's what you really worry about."

Of course, it wasn't really that. She momentarily doubted, but then nodded, agreeing. Bones' head didn't lean upon his shoulder, nor were their arms entangled while walking back. No whisper could be heard between them, either.

He easily navigated them through the late night traffic towards Bones' apartment in silence as well. Booth had never really understood why she still lived in that too little apartment. He even thought that his could be larger than that. She had… all that money, and still lived there while she could have had a villa to live in.

Sooner than either of them would have anticipated, even though their ride in silence had seemed eternal with him mainly focusing on the road, and her on everything passing by at x miles an hour, they arrived at their destination. At any other time than this, she could have easily guessed their speed when driving, but… not now.

Internally, she only continued telling herself it would be better for both, but that didn't mean it didn't tear her apart inside to say no to that man she loved, because of who she had come to be through the years. Because of how limited in loving she now found herself.

Brennan often wondered if her being like that possibly could have something to do with her mother, and father leaving when she had been in her teens. That, however, would be considered psychology… something that she couldn't possess at all. Booth had always been better with it than she would ever be. There were so many things Booth had always been better at than she was… Loving, for example.

Soon, Booth's car came to a halt in the driveway of Bones' apartment building. She looked up briefly to find that indeed it happened to be her home. Momentarily, she wondered if maybe she would dare ask him inside, after shattering all of his hopes. She and Booth had had so much fun there after solving murders, so often. Sometimes both of them would find themselves drunk, and once it had even happened that a very tipsy Booth had ended up crashing in Brennan's guest room.

She loved feeling so comfortable with him, and always have fun… but deep inside she already figured that that would never happen again. She must have ruptured him inside… for she had furthermore crushed herself at the same time.

"Thank you… for getting me home," she whispered, doubting before leaning in, and pecking his cheek. She quietly waited for some kind of reaction. A word? A nod? Nothing came, until Bones' hand reached to open her door.

"Bones, maybe you shouldn't do that anymore," he whispered.

Serenely, she nodded. Booth's hand reached up to wipe at the inner corner of his right eye. Booth crying? "Booth?" she whispered.

"I'm fine, Bones," he said, but something shaky sounded through within his voice. "I'll come, and get you around eight tomorrow morning; be ready."

She nodded, lethargically leaving his vehicle, and watching him drive away. She remained waiting until she could no longer distinct Booth's tail lights between the others anymore. "I love you," she whispered against the night. The breeze of wind carried away her words, coincidentally in the very same direction Booth had disappeared, but no sound would reach him anymore.

This wasn't what she wanted. Dr. Temperance Brennan understood that she would have to fix this, sooner rather than later. She, however, wouldn't be able to fix it; fix them, before managing to fix herself. She didn't know how, but she could at least try, right? This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what Booth wanted. This wasn't what Sweets, or Angela wanted.

She sighed, turning around on her heels to go inside, hands slipping into the pockets of her mid-long, light coat. Sadly, she chuckled. She must have adapted this of Booth.

Bones really didn't look forward to facing Angela, and tell her tomorrow morning. She wouldn't be able to hide it, though. Angela always knew. Ange would surely tell her how unintelligent she had indeed behaved, maybe not be talking to her much in the next couple of days as some kind of affirmation concerning her best friend's foolishness. Bones, however, knew. She knew how foolish she had actually been. She knew, too.

Damn it, Temperance. Damn it.


End file.
